In Search of Eloquence

More often it's just not enough to wake up and get by in life. Sometimes I feel like an odd ball in a sea of confused people. They are confused as I am confused. But sometimes I feel that there is something else that whispers in my ear that says, "No, don't be like them".

As hard as I have tried all my life, I did try to be like them. But on the other hand, I did things and achieved things that weren't so predictable and chronological either. However, I still tried. I still tried to put my makeup on and my heels on before I go to work--be business-like, helpless or demure, whenever it called for it. Finally, and I say finally, because I did give it a superior go for it. The "it"--the status quo.

In search of eloquence, I made them force me out of the rat-race. Yet I am still making a meager living, but now the only stickler, the time-watching-authoritarian, is me. And I get doubly hard on myself if I don't meet my goals.

Eloquence to me is equanimity and solace--it's still a long road, but I'm awfully glad I got off the treadmill when I did and that I am making my own trail regardless how minute and insignificant in respect to this capitalistic, misogynistic, sexist world.